Teen Perspectives

Today I’ll be interviewing

Devin Orrick-Martin

She’s 18 and loves tea, art, music,
computers, and worship.

Let’s see what she has to say:

What were the best topics your YP taught on?

He hit on a lot of basic issues that teens face every day, then gave us the Bible’s perspective on it.

The biggest issue he addressed was drugs. He would basically say, “this is the real issue – look at what these things do to your body! You’re harming yourself when you use drugs, and the Bible says that we shouldn’t harm our bodies.”

Did you youth group do any mission trips or outreaches?

We were always involved in community service. Our YP was big on servant-hood.
And he always taught us that if we serve others, like Christ came to serve, we’d really impact people. A lot of the kids in our youth group would come with stories about how their actions influenced others. They’d talk about how their friends would ask them why they acted so different than everyone else, giving them an open door to share the Gospel.

My youth pastor would let these people share their testimonies in front of the youth group. That made such a huge impact on me. It was so encouraging to know that I’m not fighting this battle alone, but there are others who are trying to make a difference too.

What kind of relationship did your YP have with his wife?

They were really close. She was very involved with our youth group. I think their love for each other really influenced us a lot. Whenever conversations about relationships came up, they would share from their own experiences. They did a great job of not just telling us what’s best, but showing that to us. My standards for guys have been raised by the great husband my YP was.

YP’s need to realize that the teens look up to them a lot. Whenever I found myself in a hard spot, I’d always go and talk to my YP. So when a YP lives out their life as a good example for their teens, it shows in the lives of the teens following them.

The Bible says that teachers will be held to the highest standards. YP’s need to hold themselves to that standard so they can have the best possible influence on their youth group.

Teen Perspectives

This week I’ll be interviewing….

Stella Cordova

She loves music, reading, writing, meeting new
people, and talking with hurting people to bring them comfort.

Let’s see what she has to say:

1. Looking back, what things do you wish your YP focused on?

I wish he had focused more on the hardships that we dealt with. It’s not common to talk about saving sex for marriage, or depression, or drug abuse, but it’s destroying our generation and killing our youth. The church isn’t talking about it even though it’s something we are really struggling with. We need someone to tell us about it and help us fight it.

I also wish that he had been more open and welcoming to us and that he worked harder at building relationships with us. That’s crucial to the youth. If someone is in their youth group for a month or two and all they know is their name, that’s really sad. My YP never really talked to us individually or tried to get to know us. He was kind of a “Wednesday-night” Youth Pastor, he’d show up for his half hour and that was it.

2. Did your YP have any policies on secular music or dating?

No. I wish they did though. Many of the youth leaders would listen to secular music on a daily basis and you could see that in the way they lived. A lot of them ended up being asked to step down because they had become pregnant or had gotten someone pregnant outside of marriage. Our Assistant YP actually had premarital sex and ended up marrying the girl because he got her pregnant. Our treasurer married this guy she didn’t even love because she had a child with him but they ended up getting a divorce.

Dating can be a touchy subject but it needs to be talked about; it can save someone’s life – and their purity.

If the church doesn’t speak up, where else are we going to learn about purity?

3. How did it affect you to have your leaders fall into sexual sin?

It really affected us all. The youth group broke up after that. My YP had a good relationship with Christ and then he fell and it was really hard for all of us to handle. A lot of us thought that if he couldn’t do it then we can’t do it. It made me feel like I had no hope or chance.

4. Did your youth group go on any missions trips? If so, how did it impact you and your youth group?

The youth group specifically didn’t have any missions trips, but the church did and they encouraged the youth to attend. Some of the youth went and it affected their lives dramatically.

There was one guy who was very coldhearted and bitter, but he went on this two week missions trip and the Lord completely moved in his life. Before he didn’t like talking to people but after the trip he would reach out to others and talk to them. He had joy and compassion and you could just tell that God had totally changed
him.

5. How did the youth ministry cause you to grow more in love with God?

The worship. My youth group focused a lot on Christian music and worshipping the Lord. Music is such a big part of my life so the worship really helped to lead me to Christian artists and away from secular ones.

The first ATF I went to was with my Youth Group. That was like the first time I had been exposed to Christian music. Since then I haven’t listened to secular music.

6. If you could tell the YP’s of today something, what is it that you think they need to hear?

I would tell them not to lose hope. Stay encouraged and encourage your youth group. Be involved in our lives and in what we’re struggling in and dealing with. We are looking for direction. Help us by taking your place in leadership and becoming the leader that God has called you to be. Your youth group and this generation as a whole are in desperate need of you. And remember that great things always come from things that take a lot of hard work.

Teen Perspectives

Today I'll be interviewing

Jessica Scull

She enjoys talking with people and going to the beach with
friends back home in CA!

Let's see what she has to say:

What subjects do you wish your YP had spoken about at Youth Group?

Self Worth, end-times, the church being the bride, and how defeating sin in your life is a process! I wish he taught more about how the devil is real, and has come to kill, steal and destroy! My YP talked about a lot of the things we do wrong as teens in America, and how God feels about it. But it wasn’t effective. He just told us what we were doing wrong, but never told us how to change. We felt really condemned. I wish he would have also explained how to make things right.

Did your YP talk about dating?

No. But they need to talk about it and not avoid it. It’s not just your personal view on dating – we need to know what the Bible says. I have only been a Christian for two years. I was dating an atheist about six months after I gave my life to the Lord – no one even told me that was wrong. I needed godly women around me and I didn’t have that. I needed a YP to talk about godly relationships and dating.

What are some things you'd like your YP to know?

The importance of personal invitations: Some people don't come to Youth Group because they don't feel as though anyone has ever reached out to them. Of course everyone is welcomed if they come, but some people want a personal invitation. They want to feel like they’re wanted.

The importance of loving confrontation and follow up: Some also didn’t come because they were going just to be impressed and entertained , they weren't going to seek God. That’s something our youth group just wasn’t doing – even as individuals. Their hearts were in the wrong, but no one called them out on their bad attitudes either. A lot of them just stopped going - but no one followed up with them.

The importance of peer leadership: I think if the peer leaders were aware of the situations going on in youth group and prayed about it together that they would be really effective. I know the YP can't do everything, so if they helped to address some of the issues I think it would be different. I would have like my YP to push us to be leaders more.

Final thoughts:

Youth groups are very important, and I think they should be taken more seriously. Most churches from what I know have a new YP every year, which shows a lack of commitment. That speaks volumes to teenagers. High school years are extremely difficult and they have a lot of different influences around them! I want people to make a big deal out of them and spend more time in prayer for their students!

Teen Perspectives

Today I'll be interviewing

Colin Conn

He likes to play guitar, ultimate frisbee, and eat
at buffets

Let's see what he has to say:

What three questions do you wish your YP or youth workers would have asked the teens in your youth group?

• Questions that pin-point where a teen’s faith lies – holding them accountable to
  their walk with God. Like, “What did you read in the Bible this week?”
• “What can I pray for you for?” It’s great to know someone’s there for you.
• Also, so many teens have questions they want to ask, but they don’t feel comfortable
  asking them. There are so many things we’d like answers to – like dating, family
  problems, etc. If YP’s or youth workers just simply ask, “Do you have any
  questions for me?” it would open the door for the teens to ask those
  uncomfortable questions.

What is one thing YP’s don’t understand about public high school today?

The academic standards are set so low. Nothing is expected from even students like me who are in honors courses. We aren’t pushed to a high work ethic. I wish my teachers would have set a higher standard for me.

I didn’t go to public school all of my life, but I switched so I could be around more people. And once I got there I realized that I wasn’t surrounded by any solid Christian friends. The academics were such a waste of time too.

What is something you want YP’s to know?

Youth Ministry is so important! Keep sacrificing! I know what you guys do is
hard, but keep going. If you don’t, you’re going to wish you sacrificed more. My
generation is lost, and you’re their only hope to know the Lord. The teen years
are really the prime time for you to save souls. There’s such an open door that
so often gets closed after teens graduate from high school.

Teen Perspectives

Today I’ll be interviewing

Natali Nieto

She’s 18 and likes playing guitar, spending time with
the Lord while exploring nature, and having a good laugh with
friends.

Let’s see what she has to say:

“I never really was involved with youth group, but I can tell you this…”

At 15 my family picked up its roots and moved from California to Arizona. I had
been involved with a youth group in Cali, but in Arizona, my church experience
wasn’t that great. The first and only youth group I tried was anything but
effective and meaningful. To me it felt superficial. Those same teens I saw
worshipping and praying were also sleeping around, partying, and experimenting
with different illegal substances. I was never welcomed. The YP never wanted to
listen or help me personally.

What did he do that made you feel this way?

I never felt welcomed because he never gave me the time of day. He had his
favorites and if you weren’t one of them, you were invisible to him. I was the
invisible one.

What are some things that YP’s can do to show their sincerity to youth?

I think it’s hard to engage with each and every student in a big youth group,
but they should at least try to make an effort to meet and greet each new person
so they can feel welcome and not alienated.

Not alienated? So, you’re saying it’s very important for youth to feel connected to the group, right? How could a YP make that happen?

Yes. I know that not every YP has the time to have the most intimate
conversations with every single person that walks through the youth room doors.
But someone needs to have these interactions with each individual…someone like a
small group leader. It’s crucial for young men and women to have Godly mentors
in their lives. I remember having someone like this when I was younger and it
made all the difference.

In a small group setting, youth are given more
opportunities to grow. Outside of this they can just go under the radar and not
be noticed. But the thing about small groups is that your leader is there to
notice what’s going on in your life. Youth are challenged to not live a double
life. The accountability offered in small groups would have deterred many of the
teens from my old youth group away from their two-faced life.

Do you have any other thoughts?

I believe genuine youth groups exist. I didn’t experience one and I never want
any other teen to have that same experience. YP’s, take note and be authentic
and sincere with your youth.

Teen Perspectives

Today I’ll be interviewing:

Krystal Chan

She’s 19 and loves coffee, talking about the Lord,
and trying new foods.

Let’s see what she has to say:

What were the best things about youth group?

Unity, vulnerability, and keeping a good eye on opposite gender
relationships. I went to a Chinese church where most of the people were
families that recently immigrated to Canada. I liked how my YP never
judged the students (since he was raised in a white/Canadian culture) and took
the time to learn about our culture.

Looking back, what things do you wish your YP focused on?

Teaching us about keeping an eye on eternity. Chinese parents put a HUGE
focus on doing well in school à getting into a good college/university à getting
a good job and making ‘good money’ so they can have a ‘good life.’ I
would’ve liked it if my YP was able to bring all of that into perspective by
teaching us about sowing to reap eternal rewards.

Teen Perspectives

I’m going to be interviewing teens who have just graduated from high school. They’ll be answering questions about their experiences, or lack of experiences with their youth groups.

Today I’ll be interviewing:

Beth King

She’s 19 and loves music and writing.

Let’s see what she has to say:


What aspect of your youth group ministered to you the most?

Small groups! They’re the most important. I went to a youth group during my junior high years that meet in small groups. Between 2 and 3 hundred students came to that youth group, so it could be easy to get lost in the crowd. But, in the small group meetings, I could connect with one youth leader and a few different teens on a more personal level. I got challenged so much by these girls. They held me accountable to the things discussed during our meetings.

The youth group “took a break” from small groups for a time, but never really started them back up again. There were a lot of things hitting me during that time and I really felt as if the weight of it all was on my shoulders alone. Small groups give support when you’re so weak that you can’t hold yourself up spiritually or emotionally. I ended up in a place where I was so weighed down, but I didn’t have anyone to help me carry the weight. The friends that were there for me only added to the weight with their negative influence on my life. I ended up getting into a lot of bad stuff, much of which was due to not have a core group of people to hold me up in my time of weakness.

This kind of rolls into the next question:

How did your youth ministry cause you to fall more in love with God?

I got invited to go to another youth group at one point and I went. It was honestly just something I did to get out of the house since my parents had grounded me from basically anything but church and homework outside of school. The new youth group welcomed me in and made a point to get to know me. They listened as I shared my heart and just loved me. They didn’t just label me a “backslider” and leave it at that. Instead, they showed God’s love to me. Then, when they talked about God, I was more interested in what they had to say. After a month at this youth group, I rededicated my life to God.

My experience is a perfect example that this saying is true: people don’t care how uch you know until they know how much you care.